IN THIS ISSUE: THE ANATOMY OF RESPECT
WISDOM: "THANKS, TRAVELING NOT ONLY BROADENS ONE'S MIND BUT ALSO WIDENS HUMAN SYMPATHIES" Road sign in Bhutan
COACH'S CHALLENGE: Have you ever consciously thought about all the reasons why you respect yourself?
SOUL TRAVEL: THE KINGDOM OF BHUTAN, LAND OF THE THUNDER DRAGON Part II
THE ANATOMY OF RESPECT - in 250 words or less
Inspired by the seemingly omnipresent sense of respect for life and each other in Bhutan, I challenged myself to contemplate the essence of that respect and what lessons that might have for us. In Bhutan, I believe this respect emanates principally from the intense presence of the Buddhist religion and the rural nature of the country. The form of Buddhism practiced in Bhutan is called Tantric Buddhism. Unlike mainstream Buddhism which emphasizes perfecting certain qualities in order to attain a perfected future state of consciousness, the premise of Tantric Buddhism is that people already possess the nature of enlightened and perfected beings. "Enlightened" means "at one" with the universe, a view that is synonymous with compassion for self and other forms of life. From the Bhutanese Buddhist's perspective, the pursuit of "good" is a manifestation of one's own enlightenment not a pathway to enlightenment as it is in Buddhism in general. (This does not mean that other forms of Buddhism are not just as successful at fostering respect and compassion. It just manifests differently.)
The small population and dependency on the land also fosters the importance of the individual and interdependency of man and nature. Although Bhutanese typically are reluctant to kill anything, they eat meat killed and fish caught by others. Sometimes necessity spawns some creative rationalizing -- such as "to kill a fish is to save the lives of a thousand worms". (Speaking of fishing, part of our group went on a brief fishing expedition and, to our surprise, one of our very devout guides showed up at the hotel with 27 trout. We had a delicious dinner and he had saved 27,000 worms.)
As in most Buddhist countries, greeting each other is done with a bow of the head and hands in prayer position. It is impolite to sit on the floor with your toes pointed at another person, or to point at anything. When waving to someone you wave with you hand down. Respect is a high priority and "manners" are one important framework for that respect.
So what is the lesson? All religions teach love and doing "good"; people without a religious orientation are still loving and good people. But this heightened atmosphere of respect in Bhutan emanates from its culture. The luxury of Bhutan is that it is a small, closely-knit culture, steeped in the Buddhist teachings that are influential and present in every aspect of life.
Contrary to Bhutan, our culture is fragmented, based on the value of the individual over the group and on overwhelm from the pace at which we live. Additionally, one's worth is measured more by material achievement. Manners, which form at least one structure for respect, appear to be falling by the wayside. A lot of positive characteristics come out of our way of life and I would not change what we stand for in that regard. Few of us would want to have been born in Bhutan. Our culture, however, does not generally reward or emphasize compassion. Our culture makes it harder to value each other and ourselves. It seems to me that compassion (the root of respect) is the key to our higher selves and a conscious society. On one hand, a segment of our society seems to be moving in that direction and, if you don't read the newspaper, it feels like we are raising the bar. On the other hand, compassion and respect seem to be diminishing and individual isolation rising. Perhaps choosing to believe we are, like the Bhutanese Buddhists, enlightened beings, might cause us to behave more consistently in a way that increases in our world the level of compassion and respect for ourselves and life in general.
THOUGHT FOR THE MONTH: THE UNIVERSE IS A COMMUNITY OF SUBJECTS, NOT A COLLECTION OF OBJECTS. Thomas Berry
SOUL TRAVEL: THE KINGDOM OF BHUTAN, LAND OF THE THUNDER DRAGON PART II
Bhutan is slowly trying to enter the modern world with one eye on modernity and the other on preserving Bhutanese culture and tradition. While there, we heard rumors of two high-end hotel chains negotiating for places to build resorts and all of us shuddered. Just think about the possible advertisements: "Golf in the Himalayas makes you High; Lama blessings for a better life; Meditation and monks in the morning, yaks and yoga in the afternoon; Tea, temples and tennis; Make your own prayer flag." I hope the rumors never come to fruition.
Bhutan used to restrict the number of tourists but no such restriction presently exists. You cannot, however, travel independently but must make arrangements through a Bhutanese travel company and be accompanied by a Bhutanese guide. It makes some sense because turning tourists loose could easily disrupt temple ceremonies and general religious decorum.
Bhutan is serious about protecting its identity. The typical dress - a gho for men and a kira for women-MUST be worn by all Bhutanese during the day. Although enforcement is lax in the countryside, in Paro and Thimpu, a policeman is likely to stop a Bhutanese not dressed in the national dress and take that person to the "station" where that person may be asked to explain why he/she is not wearing the national dress. If unsatisfied with the answer, that person may be fined. Our guides were always dressed "appropriately" except in the evening when their duties as guides were finished. Then, they appeared in casual western clothes. One had a Georgio Armani tee shirt and there were a few Adida warmups.
In central Bhutan, the architecture of buildings and houses also must meet a certain profile. The architecture is somewhat reminiscent of a Swiss chalet with packed mud walls painted white and the upper floor built of wood with lots of beams. Religious symbols are painted on everything, everywhere, inside the buildings and outside. The most unusual symbol to Western eyes is the penis. They are often painted on the outside walls of houses (see photo) and carved penises crossed with a sword typically hang from all four corners of the homes. Its particular purpose is to ward off evil spirits. (Having an actual male in the house doesn't count.) A prayer flag is erected on the center of the roof of all Buddhist homes.
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The inside of the farmhouses is very sparse. There is always a chapel/guest room in the home but seldom any furniture. Mats are used instead. Beds are similar to futons and just folded up during the day. As we sat on the floor in the chapel room in a farm house to which we had been invited to lunch, I thought how everyone must congregate in the kitchen around the wood stove in the winter for the house was drafty and chilly even in April.
One of our most exciting days was the day we hiked to Tango monastery. Starting in nice weather, I foolishly left my jacket in the car at the foot of the mountain. Although the hike was supposed to take about an hour, it was very steep and at 10,000 feet, it felt like forever. Weather changed abruptly for the worse and we found ourselves in heavy rain and hail. My guide was way ahead of me with my camera gear AND PONCHO so I arrived near the top of the mountain drenched and cold. Miraculously the sun broke through and we arrived at the monastery in time to watch the entire population of monks involved in the raising of a 100 foot pole with prayer flag. What a spectacle! (See photo).
After the pole was securely in place, we were invited to a temple ceremony. No photos allowed. About 100 monks all in red robes were seated in rows on red cushions. At a higher level sat the eight-year old reincarnated lama and his two mentors. The room was painted elaborately, a giant statue of a Buddha and lesser statues ringed the room on two sides, an altar was laden with "tribute" that oddly enough included a lot of what we would call juke food - potato chips, pretzels, cookies, etc. - Many butter candles were lit and incense was burning. But the most glorious aspect of all was the music. Most of the monks were chanting and playing a typical form of upright drum. A few others blew elongated horns that sounded much like a dijeridoo. We all received a blessing and were given gold colored threads to put around our necks. Mine stayed with me for the rest of the trip.
After the temple ceremony, the monks invited us to tea in the VIP room. I was looking forward to a hot cup of tea but took one sip, made an involuntary face, and looked around for a potted plant. No such luck! Then they spooned some odd looking rice into my hand. It tasted like mildew. Fatima, who was sitting next to me, was having the same response. We started giggling. I did not want to insult the monks and felt embarrassed but there was no way I could eat the rice or drink that tea and I was on such sensory overload and so tired, it was all I could do to contain the giggling. I then came up with the bright idea of putting the rice in my cup of tea. Mistake. All it did was float to the top. More giggling! Oh well, I was sure I would be forgiven. Back down the mountain, more rain and hail. But this time I had an umbrella. It was a Great Day! It was a great trip!
Praying wheels
Herder with his sheep
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WINGS Vol. 1, No. 6, July, 2002
